August 4th 2008
I witnessed a class baseball game promotion while at Sacramento River Cats game last week.
Early in the game, a fan reached out and snagged a foul ball popped up behind the backstop.
Without missing a beat, the PA said to fans: “The fan who just caught that ball has won a free haircut from Super Cuts.” (more…)
February 11th 2008
My wife, who sent the story below to me via email, thinks it’s pretty funny. I must admit, I did laugh aloud when I read it and I thought our readers might enjoy it as well, so here it is:
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her billfold, extracted 10 dollars and asked, “Now, if I give you this money, will you just go out and buy some wine with it instead of dinner?” (more…)
July 3rd 2007
Did you know “National Kissing Day” is on Fri, July 6?
I had never heard of the holiday until I read about it this past week. The holiday is actually celebrated in Britain. I think it’s just another way flower shops are trying to sell more flowers. (more…)
May 16th 2007
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!” (more…)
April 5th 2007
While reading a newspaper in Chicago, I came across this funny story that occurred in Utah while our family was away on a trip:
“Towards the end of an American Collegiate Hockey Association tournament game between University of Southern California and Brigham Young University, the USC goalie Mickey Meyer dropped his pants and,” according to the paper, “mooned the crowd and slapped his bare buttocks.” (more…)
February 8th 2007
I received an email that shared this “true love” story:
An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.The judge then said, “I will then give you six days in jail.” Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?” The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
January 5th 2007
I’ve always had a fast pace. In track, I was a sprinter. On the football field, I used to have “wheels,” and in basketball, I enjoyed running the fast break and chasing after loose balls.
Today, I’m awfully confident no one would credit me with having “wheels,” but I still don’t mind chasing down a loose ball and I’m always enjoy running a fast break, although I have trouble finishing my shot just as I did years ago!
My pace these days – whether working or spending time with my family – seems to be the same as it was years ago, but probably not as fast as friends in the east and probably not as slow as friends in the south.
Some people caution me to “slow down,” “enjoy the moment,” and ask, “Why don’t you just relax and go with the flow?”
Well, “relax” isn’t something I’ve ever been comfortable with and I’ve tried on several occasions to just “go with the flow” – as my wife encourages me to do from time-to-time - and it just doesn’t seem to fit my personality profile.
I likely was standing in the “impatient” line when they handed out the “go with the flow” characteristic, because I struggle mightily with it, and “patience” isn’t my strong suit.
So, for those of you who know me, if the next time you see me and I look like I’m being impatient or in a hurry, know that’s probably the case and just “relax” and “go with the flow!”
December 8th 2006
I received this Christmas classic from a friend via email yesterday:
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter
came addressed in a shaky handwriting to “God” with no actual address. He
thought he should open it to see what it was about.The letter read: “Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very
small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which
was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is
Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to
turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other
workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few
dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which
they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day,
all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she
would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.It read, “Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did
for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner
for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your
wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have
been those bastards at the Post Office.
December 4th 2006
I was reading some inspirational quotes about togetherness and came across a humorous one from Rod Hundley who said: “My biggest thrill came the night Elgin Baylor and I combined for seventy-three points in Madison Square Garden. Elgin had seventy-one of them.”
October 11th 2006
I often wish I’d write down all the funny things I hear kids say. They’re hilarious and most times they don’t even know they’re being funny. They’re just being themselves and expressing what’s on their mind.
Take for instance the exchange between a seven-year old son and his Mom, whose family happens to be close friends of our family:
The mother had to attend two baby showers this past Saturday, so she explained to her seven-year old son that she was sorry she wouldn’t be able to attend his soccer game because she needed to attend the baby showers.
She communicated how she wishes she could be there, hopes he plays well, and let her son that his father would be there to cheer for him.
The son looked at his Mom and said, “Well, at least Dad made the right decision.”
Oh, too funny!